Hey, it’s Ricardo here! Welcome back to this series of posts about procrastination, specifically about the types of procrastinators. As I said before, some characteristics of our personalities make us more vulnerable to certain types of procrastination, shiny object syndrome, or delay in action. If you have not read the previous posts, I would certainly recommend you to do so. If you prefer, you can watch the videos in our YouTube channel.
Today I am going to talk about those who were raised to be extremely courteous, or became people pleasers. And by the way, being a people pleaser, in my opinion, is one of the most damaging personality problems that needs to be addressed now, because it can affect you seriously, not only in your career, job, business but also in relationships, even in your connection with God.
In this post, I will talk in particular about the procrastination caused by this kind of personality but I will make another one talking about this issue in more detail and how to get rid of it. I will give you the tips that helped me to overcome and be free once and for all. So, don’t forget to subscribe to this blog for more content like this to improve your life.
This type of procrastinator is the person who can not say no and keeps staking tasks, projects, just out of fear of saying no. But this is also the person who gets stuck in life, dreams, and goals, out of the fear of thinking that the others might not approve or like what they want to accomplish. You see? They consider others rather than themselves. And certainly, as Christians, we know Paul said in Philippians 2:3 “value others above yourselves.” But Paul never meant to say, “be people pleaser in all you do.” Or, value others, killing yourself in the process. We need to be careful with wrong religious thinking. It can be very destructive.
Sometimes we are unable to say no because we want to belong. We do not want to experience rejection. Others feel they need -implicit or explicit- approval of others in order to move forward. Others get extremely involved in someone else’s projects, or life that they just forget about themselves. All these things make us run out of time and guess who ends up not moving forward or -stuck in procrastination? (YOU). If this is your case. You are delaying your own dreams; the things you need to do because you think too much about others. Let me tell you this:
- First of all, learn to say NO. Even God says no, and it is ok. Yes, it might feel scary the first time, but that is how we heal. It is kind of like a vaccine, right? You put a little bit of the virus in the patient so the immune system gets stimulated and produces more antibodies to combat that disease. Here , it is the same when you learn to say no., You will gain courage little by little until you can finally stand for yourself. And by the way, you do not lack courage, you just need to exercise it.
- You are not the saviour of the world. You are not anyone’s hero. You are here first to take care of yourself. Let me tell you a story: Once upon a time, on a farm, the farmer’s most beloved horse got sick. The veterinarian came and said, “I know what he’s got, and here is the medicine. If the horse does not take it within a week you will have to put him down.” The pig, who was a friend of the horse, listened to all the conversation and tried to persuade his friend to drink the medicine. But the horse was stubborn, and even though he was feeling ill, he promised that nobody would make him take that medicine. “They will sacrifice you, horse,” said the pig. “Please,” he kept insisting. Finally, after five days, the horse decided to pay attention to his friend and took the medicine. The next day he felt better, and after three days he could run again. The farmer—extremely excited—announced: “My horse is fully recovered! Let’s celebrate with a meal! Honey, let’s roast the pig!” Sometimes it’s better not to offer your help to a stubborn person. Sometimes it’s better not to play the savior of someone else… you might end up roasted.
- Value yourself. Fall in love with you. Remember Christ said “love others as yourself”. You are not truly loving or valuing others until you love yourself.
Now, I want you to take a piece of paper and write 3 goals you want to achieve in the next month. Something simple like going on a little vacation or starting a or your business. Under those goals you will write the first step you need to take in order to achieve them and take it. If it is opening your LLC, do it. If it is saving your first $100.00, then do it. Do not wait for anyone else’s approval. I want to give you this passage of the Bible so you will not have an excuse to procrastinate: “Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do.” (Ecclesiastes 9:7)… just GO and take that first step now. It will be scary at first, remember! But little by little, your strength and your courage will grow.
Co-Founder & NeuroCoach
If you prefer to watch the video, here it is